Rhod Gilbert on BBC Radio Wales.

If you are listening to this, you are listening to Rhod Gilbert's Best Bits, some of the best bits of my Saturday morning radio show, live on BBC Radio Wales. This week, I'm in my kitchen in London with Carl Donnelly.

Last time you were here, Carl ... / Yes, / ... last time you were here, Carl, ... uh, ... we did a gig in Swansea, I think ... / Yeah, / ... the gig, __ __ __ this show. / Yeah. / __ we did it in Swansea, and, uh ... we spent a lot of the show talking about your dietary habits. / __ __ not a diet. ... veganism. / Veganism ... / that's not __ diet, is it? / This is what I like about conversation with you about your diet __ stuff __ __ immediately ... immediately __ __ picked up on things. ... The minute __ __ so, it's not dietary? / it's not __ __ part of it, but ... __ __ __ __ else / What? / Clothing ... / __ __ / you don't class your clothes as part of your diet, do you? / Oh, that's how I remember ... now / we had / big __ ding-dong about shoes / riding horses / We talked about "Would you ride a horse if __ asked you to ? / asked ... explicitly for me to do it / I / forgotten about this. ... Do you know what? I've forgotten so much I can happily talk about it all over again. / What about people who heard it the last time? / There was nobody listening / But now __ __ even more wacky ... diets. / Oh, there's somebody at the door. This is the excitement of, uh, doing live radio, uh, in your own house. Jack, uh, who's, uh, here from the production team in Cardiff ... would you mind answering the door __ __ I'm a bit busy ... I'm a bit tied-up, uh, right now, Jack ... / so, let's / p__ me again. You are a v ... / 'cause __ __ a new ... ladies and gentlemen, if you're thinking you can't just do the same conversation again, A: I could. / Yeah. / Right? Because nobody was listening. But B: there's been a turn, there's been a fresh twist. You are a vegan. Let's start from the beginning. / __ __ __ __ I'm being a vegan for two and a half years, / You're being a vegan two and a half years. / I don't eat, wear or use any ... / Yeah. / ... animal products. / He doesn't wear, eat or use any ... / Yeah, / ... animal products. / Yes. But now ... / And we established last time, ... we really ... we really __ __ / would you ride a horse? / and you said no / would you ride a horse / really ... really wanted you to? / and I said / consent / if / animal / concent / for me to do something to it / What if, like, uh ... what if, like, a pig said __ __ to wear shoes or something? / if ... a pig ... / I could wear shoes / I wear shoes, all right? / Yeah. / I don't need a pig's concent __ me / my normal life. ... It's when that pig's involved / ぼくが靴をはいたって、豚が犠牲になるわけじゃないだろ。ぼくは自分が普通の生活をおくるのにわざわざ豚におうかがいをたてたりしないよ。 / Oh, I see. OK. / Uh ... but now / has to be / the animal involved / concent ? / Yeah. ... Yes, I think so, yeah. ... Or if ... if they ... maybe they can speak on behalf of the other ones of their clan. / Oh? So, pigs could ... could / pig / leader of the pigs / yeah / like / he said __ __ __ have a hot dog / Uh ... yeah. / ... provided it was a pork sausage __ __ __ be all right ? / Yeah, obviously, yeah. / p__ / ... Obviously? / can't speak on behalf of ... cows / 'cause they're pork and beef / unless __ __ all the animals come together / elected him as ... / __'s unlikely / ... __ speaker for all of them / It's unlikely. We're in the fantasy territory there now. / uh / I don't know, to be honest. / __ pigs __ __ __ cleverer than __s / They don't taste any cleverer. / Have you eaten a dog? / Yeah. / Have you? / No. / __ __ / Of course ... I've got a dog. ... I couldn't eat a dog. ... Uh, no, I haven't. I've never eaten ... a ... dog. ... That's a good ... would you eat dog? ... __ __ question __ big, uh, festivals and things / dog-eating / things / oh, no, you wouldn't, no. / cow / you wouldn't even have a ... a pr ... a king prawn. / No. ... I do know somebody who's almost entirely vegan apart from prawns. / ほとんど完璧なベジタリアンなんだがエビだけは食うってやつがいる。エビは頭が悪いからだって。 / They say that ... the reason is, they're just rubbish animals ... creatures. / Prawns? / Yeah. / Why? / They've got nothing going on / which / mean / got nothing going on ? / in terms of intelligence ... or consciousness / consciousness / They're idiots. / But don't ... don't they have a central nervous system? / Yeah. / Do__ they? / I'd assume so. / Hmm ... you're ... you ... / you said that / you said that very confidently and immediately panicked / I / my / I saw it in your face. You were confident when you said "Yes" / immediately I saw your ... your eyes wobbled. / I know __ ... for example, I don't think an oyster has a central nervous system / oyster definitely doesn't have a nerv__s ... sentral nervous system / how far up the ladder, then, is a prawn from __ oyster? / prawns / oyster / Two ranks? ... I'm guessing __ __ crabs __ It's oyster ... it goes ... oyster, crab, prawn / it? / would / different / cleverer than / prawn / would you? / yeah. There's more going on / crabs walk sideways, mate. / ... Yeah / its hands / yeah, but that doesn't make you clever__ __ __ __ hands / both of those big claws __ __ __ __ sort of / Huh, you're right. / b__ / you're right / Prawns have got nothing to use / but look at / like __ little ... t__y bits coming out of / Is that what they do? Do they / flow / bounce / along the bottom? / we are both / this conversation __ __ realize __ __ __ somehow fumbling from it.

This is BBC Radio Wales, __ __ listenin to ... Rhod Gibert, live, uh, in my kitchen in London with Carl Donnelly, and our production team has pointed out that, if you are listening to this, you may have heard / gentle sound__ of bird song in the, uh, in the background. / I / really noticed it / but / production team in Cardiff / putting / out / saying they can hear / little / tweeting in the background / do about it / just / ladies and gents ... / there are some ... there are some radio stations __ __ just that, don't they? Is that still going, that bird song one? / ... What station is that? / Uh ... I think it's called Bird Song or something / Really? / Birds ... yeah. ... It's just, uh ... just that. ... Hear that bird? / Yeah. / It's the radio station, and it does just that. So, you put it on and it just gives you bird song. And people find it very relaxing. It's not ... / anything in between / any / podcast / little 15-minute clips / yeah, I mean, obviously people do like wlale's song / the best bits ... of the ... uh ... people do like, uh, ... the whale. Are you a fan of whales? Uh, now, see / uh, now, here we go / Huh, OK. / it / OK. Rewind. Carl Donnelly, you are a vegan. / Yes. __ __ / You said it covers __ __ lifestyle, it covers your clothes, / yeah / shoes / you don't wear ... you don't wear any animal products / you don't eat any animal products / what / eat them / or wear them / use / you don't use glue, for example? / I don't use ... / I / some glue __ __ __ __ __ arts and crafts. / So, what would you do ... / Like, sort of, that's the one thing __ __ should watch out for / something / special __ vegan shoes / buy ones that aren't leather or ... sometimes I use, sort of, / horse / sole / and stuff like that / so, where would you get vegan shoes? / There __ a lot of vegan shoe designers / it? / it's a booming industry. / Let's have a look / pair of vegan trainers there / Oh, dear. / They're lovely. / Oh, dear / __ __ __ __ __ company / they look like vegan shoes / No, they don't. / They look like vegan shoes / they do. / go for / Vegan shoes, vegan shoes, vegan ... Is bullying part of the problem? / 君らが抱える問題には「いじめ」も含まれるか？ / Uh, very much so ... something I've got to get used to. / look right. There's something not right about them. There's something not right about them. ... So, here's the big question now, then. / Yeah. / Would you listen to a bird song radio station? / Uh ... / Would you buy a whale ... a whale song CD? / Only if they have been recorded in a natural habitat. / __ __ __ / in ... it's, sort of ... you know ... imprisoned and enforced to sing for the recording / put them in a cage __ __ conductor standing in front of them ... in a little black suit, forcing them / they were forced to sing / so, you would ... / natural song of a bird / ... So, you would buy a whale song CD and listen to that, would you? / Uh ... well, I wouldn't 'cause __ __ __ listen to whales / but you ... but you would? / But, um ... morally ... / Yeah? / ... if they __ recorded them / whales / But what about the fact __ __ whales haven't been paid for it or reimbursed in any way? Isn't that using them? / 自然な状態で録音したとしてもだよ、人間は彼らの声を使って金儲けをしているじゃないか。彼らにギャラを払うべきじゃないのか？ / I ... I mean / prefer __ __ __, but, ... I mean, I __ __ ... yeah. / Where would you draw / is that the line? Is it? I __ found the line at last. / Um ... yeah. ... That's one thing I would do / so you / I would listen to the ... the ... singing of an animal / __ ambient noise / paid / even though it doesn't ... it doesn't even know it's exploited ? / ... Yeah. ... I mean, obviously ... / I can't believe you are even thinking about this. ... / I have found the line. I'm really ... I'm really thrilled I've found the line / know / need / challenge__ / really question my moral. / What is this development __ __ __ I heard you talking about / I was looking / I was browsing the papers __ __ ... / Yeah? / ... for __ amusing content / uh ... and I heard you, uh, talking to my wife / Jack / production team __ I heard you talking about the development in your veganism. It's a crazy turn of events / __ __ __ __ a little challenge __ __ __ a few weeks. / I've gone __ __ raw-vegan / which means I / now / any / any animal products / use / any animal products / eat anything that has been heated above room temperature. ... I know. It's insanity. / What ... what is that about? / It's just ... I fancied a challenge. / I can see ... / already / I can see ... I can see why somebody would go "I don't want to wear, use ... / Yeah, / ... or eat any animal products. I will listen to ambient whale and dolphine sound or bird song, provided it's been captured ... __, naturally and honestly, ... openly, ... I could see why somebody would say that. ... / Yes. / What I can't see is, "I'm not gonna eat anything that's been heated above room temperature." / that now / I read a thing ... / What was the thing? / it was some online nutritionist thing. He said, it's very healty ... / Huh. / n__ thing. he said, "It's very healthy ... / Huh. / ... to / nutrients / foods / apparently, cooking things takes a lot / nutrients out, so / I / for a few weeks __ __ __ really hard, is what it is. No bread ... / So ... so, what ... so, what is __ typical meal look like for Carl Donnelly? / Um ... for breakfasts / the room temperature vegan / I had a wrap / made / of / lettuce leaf / Was it actually a lettuce leaf? / a big lettuce leaf __ __ __ / you had a l__ l__ / as the wrap / As the wrap? / inside, I had some, uh, some s__ ... __ __ / made with the pulp of pistachio__ __ __ __ ... I had a salad __ __ __ veg salad in there, and I also made some walnut mints. ... I know. I ... honestly, I'm not ... I'm not trying to justify this or I'm not trying to ... I know __ __ / ... So, how long did __ breakfast take you to make? / about two and a half days. / ... When did you start making it? / Uh ... I actually started on Thursday afternoon. __ __ it was ... it was all pre-made __ __ __ over the last few days / together / very easy / And do you feel healthier? / I feel much healthier, actually. / drinking last night / only drink organic wines ... because / you can't have a beer? / No, not at the minute. / You can't have a whiskey? / I don't think ... / You can't have a vodka? / there's heat used in the brewing process __ __ honest / What happens if you got / organic wine and / served / above __ room temperature / Surely, in this weather, it's quite hard to keep it __ __ temperature / you / to drink / Yeah / I mean / constant battle / yeah / a lot of ice involved, last night, but / you can have ... you can have ice, can't you? / yeah / there's no, sort of, bottom limit. / ... To the temerature? / Yeah. / OK. / think so / ice is / animal / probably / probably a bracket __ __ to fall into / Yeah, there probably is. / no / ice / nothing to do with animals, is it? / No. / I'm so tired __ __ generally don't know. ... __ __ ice isn't heated up to make it, is it? / no / but I know I feel much healthier / also / hangover / loads of wine / so ... / maybe that's __ ... maybe that's 'cause it's organic wine. Does that ... / or / because of the new diet, you think? / I don't know / normally / loads of wine / I feel dreadful the next day / Me, too. / So, I'd somehow dodged that bullet. / Oh. Well, there you go. / It sounds such an effort / this is hard / Be honest. Is being you awful? ... Is it A: awful, B: dreadful ... / I'd say B. / Dreadful? / Just at the minute / Good choice. / normal, easy-going veganism / be manageable. / ... Uh ... "Hi Rhod, on the subject of peas ..." ... It is a strong start, from M__ M__ __, uh ... they call themselves __ __ in Northernberland. ... "... on the subject of peas" he says, "... how would you feel about ... / this ... / the reason / I'm writing about peas is that I __ __ theory / some time ago now / keeps propping up / interesting ... / about whether peas / whether peas / you need to state / garden peas or not / I would assume / mushy peas / __ __ garden pea, normal garden pea / I / garden / garden / there is / unnecessary. / Yeah, I'd agree. / Thank you. I get lots of agreements ... / Yeah. / ... from ... from / m__ is definitely / need to / qualify / p__ p__ / qualify as well / tiny one ... isn't it? / Yeah, it is. / So, / still got / consistency. ... Consistency, I think, the main thing with peas. / things / size / surely / Really? / Yeah. / but / If I said to you, "Would you like a pea? / ultimately, if you get ... / unlikely / some peas / a pea / would you eat a pea? / raw? / it is a raw pea / Yeah. / OK. / two ... what about two raw peas? / but if you get a spoon / for the pea / good name for a band / バンド名に使える / garden peas / oh, you / ultimately ... / no. If it's ... the same / totally different experience / No / same peas / totally different experience / so ... so violently does he believe / __ __ the same experience in the mouth / that's a totally different oral experience / say that / a lot of things / chewed / experience / definitely ... definitely __ __ __ __ chewing / fundamental__ different experience / put a load of / in your mouth / bigger peas / reminds me / prawn / records __ __ play / I __ only / finish / this email yet / subject of peas / a__ peas / I'll tell you, I couldn't care less.

__ __ is making / mellower mustard / it says here / Yeah? / in the newspaper / light-hearted gamble through the newspapers / people / would you water down normal English mustard / what about __ __ __ __ too strong for your taste / you / isn't it? / that's dilution, I think. / Yeah. But ... / spicy, add a little bit of / water / a little bit of ... yoghurt. ... Sorry, I was emulating ... I was emulating your speech pattern / little / add a little ... water / there __ a pause / interesting / that's not theirs / English / ham sandwiches / firy kick" ... It says here / but according to __ / many / other / available ... although I can't think of any / uh ... many of us / m__ / too hot to handle / Really? / Yeah. Apparently. They've done surveys and stuff / now / another milder version / similar in taste to its American counterpart." / French, um ... French m__ __ a bit milder, innit? / Uh ... / a bit browner ... a bit milder. / It's got more "bits" in it, __ __? / that's, um, whole grain you are thinking of / probably / eat / definitely / all the time / so, I'm not sure / Oh, OK. Maybe / animals / マスタードの製造過程で動物は使われているか？ / make / he doesn't eat, wear or believe in animals. / __ __ __ only in the sense of / do believe in them now? / I believe in their power / You believe they exist, right? / you're not a denier ... an animal denier? ... Uh, yeah, apparently / they / more like / hot dogs in America / there you go / interesting stuff / papers / look at this. ... Tatoos of ex-partners are the most ... ones most likely to be removed / yesterday / ex-partners? / No. Uh ... / I think it's ... it's / kind of creepy / part / name scraped into your skin / ... Definitely weird. / Yeah. / What is it / you've got ... you've got quite a lot / text / looks like / newspaper / looks like / your bottom / your arm / looks like / print / actually from a h__ / surely those things are / olden times when they didn't have / all right then? / they didn't / animal rights / only / old / which was ... / Yeah? / well, 800 years ago. ... That's a guess / It's a good guess, though. / I reckon / very good guess / I don't think / horses are s__ beings / could be right. ... Have a guess. What is the most frequently erased tatoo? / uh ... / often / ex's name / ex's name is the most likely / tatoo-removals / what's the second most ... I'm calling this Tatoo Quiz / there's only one question / is it a sports team? / just __ __ __ tension / OK / It's not __ sport__ team / OK. What is it? / more / one guess / No, no, it's one question. / Huh, OK. / un ... unlimited guesses / is it your own ... your own / remove your own name / why would you remove your own name? / because / change __ name / strange / proper panic / that was ... that was, like, the kind of answer people give / TV / under the pressure of __ __ something / what kind of person / so happy with their name__ / change the name / Huh, that's true. / two different people / you__ got there / your date of birth / country / dead / can / just / and you think this is the second-most popular / I do, yeah, yeah / people / found overseas / it is, uh ... One more guess / people at home / be guessing / mom? / __ __ is __ wrong answer. ... Dolphines.

"Dear Rhod ..." Uh, / this is the email / before the news / that's not / jumping / end there. ... Oh, hang on a minute / wife and __ dog / back / middle of the show / oh, she's gone over there / having a drink. ... Quality radio / here on Radio Wales. ... Dog / drink / listen / albums / which / whales / CD / bird song radio station / why not have / dog drinking? Listen. / Yeah. I mean, / You're interrupting / Carl. / おい、黙ってろ。犬が水を飲む音を静かに聞こうじゃないか。 / calming, isn't it? / quite therapeutic / ... けっこう癒されるな。 / maybe / probably release that as an album / edit / hour-long loop / release / as a podcast / dog's name / Rosy / Rosy / she was fully c__ / water-drinking / going out live to dozens of listeners. / 生放送されてるってことは知らないよ。ま、リスナーは 10 人だけど。 / ask / drinking / to ask / drink / she must be aware / something is different / kitchen / mics / people / there she goes / I think she __ __ __ just concented. / Uh, "first time ..." / dog / quick stroke / first / time / long-time podcast listener / uh / says / right / this is / talking about / problem / throwing away / the show / mom threw out / including / first editions / things like / super / comicy-geeky / but I __ appreciate the irritation / I'm delighted / legal cause of action. His mother clearly / own / disposed of them / specifically / not to do so / offense under the __ / Interference with Goods Act / show. Regards, S__ J__ / that's interesting, isn't it? / today / you can sue his mom. Why not? / yeah, yeah. Uh ... "Morning, Rhod / listening / ponderings on veganism / brainwave / quiz / your show. ... How far up the food chain / this / Food Chain Quizz / crabs / prawns / how far up the food chain / new quiz / food / higher than __ __? ... and so on / the same / m__s and __s ? / on the same / ladd__ / yeah / even / the same song, __n't they? / where would they ... they ... they'd be / same sort of / brackets / they don't know what's going on, do they? / clue / no / conscious / __ __ __ __ ... is that the ... is that the criteria? / __ and __ are exactly the same as ... / yeah / put / all in the same / yeah / prawn / then crab / then / yeah. this is where / same / would you? / yeah, I'd put them in / I don't know / some reason, big claws / yeah. You ... you think it takes / a certain amount of brain power to, uh, to manage / massive hands? / Yes. / same / 100% / the brainier you are / Tommy Cooper's hands / Massive. / bands / I hope this / Sony Award for you / good / Well, I'll tell you what. You never know

Dear Rhod / on the subject of m__ / I always think that some mustards are too spicy. / Really ? / tolerant / high / OK / how / are you / really / scotch / I mean / I hated it. ... But I didn't like / anything / do you know why / I / shop / bought / mate / in the early days / shape / bought it, thinking / tiny peppers / in your mouth / don't do / at home, kids / one of the most unpleasant things ... / Yeah. / ... I've ever experienced / mom / bin / my dad, uh, threw / once / it / we bought him for Christmas. Uh ... he was ... he was ... uh, he won't mind me saying this / he was suffering from ... uh ... / only described as a terrible and nasal and ear hair / Right. / so, it was sprouting out / sometimes / long time / through the windows / through the cracks in the ceiling / all / face / reverse of that. / Right. / just piling out of his nose / coming / face / like / reverse-shed / in it / we thought / trimmer / box / unwanted nasal hair / what he said / "Who said I wanted / 誰がこんなもの欲しいなんて言った？ / threw / wow / first. / access / face / hair-removal cream / nostrils / I don't know. Can you? / hair-removal cream / it smells so bad. / Does it? / imagine / main problem / something / literally / literally the last place for it. / くさい物をしまっておく場所として、鼻の穴というのは最悪だ。 / I always think / some mustard / too spicy / earlier / you / said / you / said / water it down / something down / sauce-wise / put water / would you? / if / thin it out a bit. / Yeah / thin it out a bit / that / totally different thing / more /be / sort of, cubic centimeters / less c__ / that's / I think / atually sound / for the first time / 25 minutes / up / can't / be backed / spread / out / main reason / yoghurt in / say / tends to be / small / I always / some / too spicy / uh ... "The way I make mine less spicy / Mustard Quiz / how would you think he does it? / from / clue / it's not / another sauce / uh ... maybe / what is the sauce? That's the question. / oh my word / Have I got it? / No. / but / so close / salad / That's amazing / I did not / launched / ten seconds ago, I never thought / answer / specifically / forget / phone / in / people / thinner ... Tipp-Ex thinner / unbelievable / two guesses / on that now / how fast / that / five seconds / if / not water / next thought / another sauce. / Yeah, but I would have gone / I definitely wouldn't have gone / second guess / people / crap / and / did / did / white source / Yeah / sour cream / bread sauce ... although you might have answered that in the panic.

back / uh ... he says, "I don't know / of / image rights and dolphine tatoos / class / unlikely / this way / obviously / could argue / picture of me / it's not / they / just / like / good one / and then, technically / isn't it? / never make / ... Now then, we've tried / establish / establish / established / eat, use, believe in / anything to do with animals / even pat a dog / 犬の頭をなでもしない。 / absolutely / Right. Now then / when __ __ / establish / listen to / cd / if / privided / captured / naturally / or the animals are made aware / you wouldn't / captured / that / sort of exploitation / intellectual property / イルカはみんな同じ顔をしているから、肖像権の問題は起きないと思うよ。/ ちょっとまて。それは人間の勝手な思い込みだ。 / they / very difficult / "When __ __ found / mouse / hiding / she / return / away / natural habitat / find out / basically / animal lover, you or __ __ ... / Right. / from / car / she returned it to its natural habitat. The r__ / in her / model / she / driving / the r__ had got in the car when __ __ / in France / ten days earlier. So, / she made two 400-mile round trips to N__ / before successfully / droping / French / my / car / obviously / jumped / in France / drove it back to France / released / sitting at some pears / it had been / ten days / obviously / hungry / say / においを嗅いでたんだろ？　腹が減ってたんなら食うはずだ。食わずににおいを嗅いで、うーん、これはあぶないな、なんて落ち着いて考えてたんなら、あまり腹が減っていなかったということだ。 / to be honest / after / going / sure / hungry / you / in France / figure / French diet / think / I think / yeah / quite / think about it. ... Anyway, she took it back from / say / rather than find / new home / talk / other mice / could be that / she said, um ... / she lives / she / took it back because ... / most / I was crazy / put down / what / put / let it out / car / rather than kill it / poor mouse / that morning / anyway / just / glad / some way / now then / kidnapped it / doing now / Carl Donnelly versus / Dr. __ __ / do you ... would you do that? / You are a vegan, you ... you don't use or abuse / any / eat / interfere with / or anything / with animals / found / back to France if you / I don't know / check the life span. So, imagine / would be / if it looks fully grown / might / left. ... I wouldn't / That is just brutal. / what / that's just / somewhere nice / east S__ / really / one of the most / nicest / seaside areas in Britain / France / might / a terrible life / assumptions about ... about this / rather be / home / car / wanted to trip / got in / for the first time / ... Yeah. / for ages / anywhere / she thought / now / doesn't know / anyone / world cup / in France / exactly like / stag-do / バチェラー・パーティの最後にやるイタズラみたいじゃないか。目が覚めたら全然知らない土地にいるという。 / So, you wouldn't / return / mouse / find / line

couple of months / that time frame on it / about / no / there's a reason / a couple of months ago / next wacky food area / maybe he can check that out / is that / just fruits / sounds / I don't know / this / I don't know / just / just / that / madness / even you / vegetables / much / likes / raw / my mom / she / 67. / She sounds like an idiot.

And, if you / why / rhod / mornings / BBC Radio Wales, 11 till 1.

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